


A New Horizon

by YaYaSestrahood



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-19 23:44:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15521358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaYaSestrahood/pseuds/YaYaSestrahood
Summary: Alison makes a change and discovers new feelings.





	A New Horizon

The divorce had been amicable. Alison was thankful for that. Once all the excitement had died down, she and Donnie found there just wasn’t much of a spark left in their relationship. Honestly, she should have seen it sooner. If involuntary manslaughter was what it took to save their marriage, maybe there just hadn’t been enough there in the first place. Still, it had taken her months of self-reflection to realize it. Discovering herself had been a clumsy process, but once she’d gotten past all the musical experimentation and the hair experimentation and dug a little deeper, what lay at the bottom was that one, simple truth. It was a scary thing to accept at first, for the both of them, but soon, it was the only thing that made sense. Alison and Donnie would always love each other, they just weren’t _in_ love anymore.

“Karate on Monday,” Alison reminded Gemma as she brushed by her on the way out the front door. “Don’t let your father forget.”

“I won’t,” Gemma grumbled, then doubled back when she saw her mother holding out her arms expectantly. She offered a quick hug before taking off down the steps.

“Love you!” Alison called.

“Love you too,” Gemma mumbled.

“Love you, Mom,” Oscar cut in.

Alison pulled him in close, planting a quick kiss atop his head before sending him on his way. She threw Donnie a smile and a wave as she watched her kids enter the car, and then, just like that, Alison was alone.

Not _lonely,_ just alone. At first, they’d felt like one and the same, but she’d come to find there was a distinct difference between the two. Only a year or two ago, it would have been torturous, but now, she could honestly say that she enjoyed her own company.

For the first time in her life, Alison liked who she was.

Still, there was only so much macramé and HGTV she could bear before starting to feel a little stir crazy, so it was on a late Sunday afternoon that she decided to pay her nieces and nephews a quick visit.

 

* * *

 

Alison pulled out her key and unlocked the front door, giving a quick courtesy knock before letting herself in.

“Hello?” she called out.

“Sestra Alison,” she heard from just around the corner. “Come.”

Alison stepped forward and peered into the living room, immediately spotting one of the twins busily crawling around by her feet.

“Well, hello,” she cooed, beaming down at him. He craned his neck, blinking up at her, wide-eyed.

“Donnie,” Helena pointed out from her spot on the couch. Her head lolled on her shoulders. She seemed a bit worn out, yet contented. “Arthur is napping.”

She motioned with her chin to the bassinet a few feet in front of her.

“Oh,” Alison whispered, bringing her hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry,” Helena chuckled. “Donnie cries and cries and still Arthur sleeps. He is good sleeper.”

Alison stepped forward and peeked into the bassinet, a smile rising to her face at the sight of him, indeed fast asleep. There was a time she’d found this difficult, Helena becoming a mother and the painful memories it had resurfaced in her, but there was nothing but warm feelings now. She was an aunt to two beautiful boys, and she couldn’t be more proud.

“Oh,” Alison said, motioning to the tupperware container in her hand. “I brought something for the girls. Rice Krispies treats. Are they here?”

“Sarah took them to the beach. The boys are too little, I think. Too much sand.”

Alison couldn’t help but notice Helena’s eyes, predictably fixating on the container as soon as it had entered her line of sight.

“I made extra, of course,” Alison assured, holding it out to her. “I know how much you like them.”

“Yes,” Helena buzzed. “Thank you.”

Before Alison could so much as blink, the lid was off and there was an entire treat in Helena’s mouth.

“You are well?” Helena asked, through a mouthful of cereal and marshmallow.

“Yes,” Alison chirped. “Very well, thank you. And how are you holding up? I know the boys can be a handful.”

“Yes,” Helena groaned. “Much handful. But Sarah helps. I am very lucky to have her.”

There was something in the way she’d said it that pulled at Alison’s heart.

“You deserve every happiness in the world, Helena. I hope you know that.”

Helena smiled, lifting her arm and lazily brushing her fingertips against Alison’s before bringing them crashing back down to the couch.

Just then, the front door popped open, sending two giggling balls of energy spilling into the foyer.

“Hello, girls,” Alison said, beaming.

“Auntie Alison!”

Kira sprang across the room and into Alison’s waiting arms. She smelled overwhelmingly of sunblock.

“Hello, Mrs. Hendrix,” Charlotte said, polite as ever.

“Hello, Charlotte.”

Taking Charlotte in had been an easy decision for Sarah, especially considering how well she and Kira had taken to each other. Of course, Alison had considered offering, but…

“It’s what S woulda done,” Sarah had said. And so that was the end of it.

Back in the present, a softer and altogether happier-looking Sarah offered Alison a wave and a smile as she entered the front door.

“Hey,” she said, turning to Charlotte. “Y’know you can call her Auntie, or just Alison, yeah? She’s family.”

She reached up and placed her hand at the back of Charlotte’s head, thumb gently stroking her hair. _And so are you,_ it seemed to say. Alison felt a sharp twinge of guilt in her gut at the idea that she’d ever doubted Sarah’s ability as a mother.

“Treats!” Helena exclaimed, drawing everyone’s attention. Kira had already disengaged from Alison and was quickly moving toward the open container.

“Thank you,” Kira said as Helena handed one over. Helena tilted her chin in Alison’s direction, hinting.

“Thank you, Auntie Alison,” Kira added.

“You’re very welcome.”

“Just one, Monkey,” Sarah said. “It’s almost time for dinner.”

Alison exchanged a smile with Kira before turning to Charlotte, contemplatively looking over at the open container.

“Here,” Alison offered, plucking the tupperware from Helena’s lap and extending it to Charlotte. “Would you like one?”

“Go on then,” Sarah said when Charlotte seemed unsure.

“Thank you, M-- Thank you,” Charlotte said with a smile. She gingerly picked one from the top of the pile, then took a small bite of the corner. She’d hardly had a chance to get it down before Kira was pulling her upstairs.

“She’s such a good kid,” Sarah sighed once they’d disappeared out of earshot. “She’s been moved around so much, I think she’s scared it’ll happen again. Just want her to know she’s home.”

“She will,” Alison assured her. “My children struggled too, at first. It just takes time.”

“Yes,” Helena cut in with a yawn. “This is what I tell her.”

“Alright,” Sarah laughed. “It’s hard for to me to admit you’re the smart one, yeah?”

Helena let out a satisfied chuckle.

“Thanks,” Sarah said to Alison, offering a friendly tap on the arm. “Stayin’ for dinner?”

“Oh, I only just meant to pop in and see how everyone was. I wouldn’t want to--”

“She will stay,” Helena interrupted.

“Guess you’re stayin’,” Sarah said with a shrug. Alison looked back and forth between the two of them as a smile formed on her face.

“I’d love to,” she said. “Thank you.”

“Auntie Alison,” a small voice said. Alison turned to see Kira’s head peeking out from the banister near the top of the stairs. “Come play!”

Alison’s smile widened. She could hardly believe there had been a time before this, before all of this new warmth and love in her life. She could hardly believe she’d nearly rejected it.

“I’ll be right up.”

 

* * *

 

There was something so beautifully normal about it. Little Arthur and Donnie babbling in their high chairs, Kira excitedly recounting every detail of their day at the beach as Charlotte chimed in with the occasional point of clarification, Sarah and Helena pulling faces and taking playful jabs at each other like they’d never known anything else. After everything, they’d finally found it. Wonderful, blissful normality.

Afterwards, in spite of Sarah’s protests, Alison insisted on making herself useful and doing the dishes, and so the two had ended up in the kitchen together, Alison washing while Sarah dried. The sounds of some 70s punk album drifted in from the living room along with the occasional bout of excited footfall from upstairs. Alison found it all surprisingly calming.

“So,” Sarah started, knocking her shoulder into Alison’s as she took the saucepan from her hands. “How you doin’?”

Alison shook her head, laughing through her nose.

“You know that’s all anyone’s asked me lately? It’s like everyone expects me to be the ‘heartsick divorcée.’”

“Alright,” Sarah chuckled, throwing her hands up in conciliation. “I get it. Sorry for carin’.”

“I know you care, Sarah,” Alison sighed. She flashed her a thankful smile. “Honestly, I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”

“Yeah,” Sarah said, nodding. “I can tell.”

She smiled over at Alison in a way that made her face feel hot.

“And if I’m not mistaken,” Alison said. “I think I can say the same about you.”

“I’m good, yeah,” Sarah laughed. “Tired, but good. Still hard for me to believe, after everythin’. But we survived all that, ey?”

“Against all odds,” Alison sighed. “You really are our hero, you know that?”

“Aw, shut up,” Sarah groaned. “I’m not a bloody hero. I was just… reckless. Stupid and reckless was always easy for me. It was stayin’ still that was the hard part.”

Alison’s eyes wandered the kitchen, settling on the refrigerator door and the thick wall of art covering it, equal parts Kira and Charlotte.

“Well, it looks like you’re figuring it out,” she said.

“It’s weird, innit? Sorry for stealin’ Helena and the boys. Just felt right, her bein’ here.”

“Of course,” Alison said. “I agree completely. I know you two have a lot of time to make up for.”

“Yeah,” Sarah said. She let out a deep breath, pausing for a moment as she thought. “Wasn’t just that. I just… couldn’t stand the quiet. Needed to fill this place.”

Alison had seen first-hand how hard Siobhan’s passing had been on Sarah, how much she’d struggled to make peace with herself.

“I know Siobhan would be so happy to see the home you’ve built here.”

“Yeah,” Sarah said, sniffling. “Hope so.”

Having finished washing the final dish, Alison handed it off to Sarah, then shut the faucet off.

“Thanks,” Sarah said. “For this, and for comin’ over.”

She quickly finished drying the plate, then set it inside the cabinet. She smiled warmly at Alison.

“It’s good seein’ you,” she said.

Time seemed to stop around them in that moment. The girls had settled upstairs. The song on the record player had faded off into silence. Alison felt herself being drawn toward Sarah by something powerful, magnetic. She brought a hand up to Sarah’s cheek. She closed her eyes, leaning in close.

“What are you doin’?”

Alison froze, scanning Sarah’s eyes which had gone wide.

“I’m going to kiss you, Sarah.”

“What?” Sarah asked, dumbfounded. “Why?”

“Because I’m attracted to you,” Alison said matter-of-factly.

“Oh.”

“Emotionally and sexually.”

“Right.”

The mood was decidedly more awkward now, Alison’s face hovering inches from Sarah’s, hand still pressed to her cheek. Sarah, frozen in shock, had made no effort to step away.

“You don’t have to kiss me, Sarah,” Alison said, finally shaking her out of it.

“Yeah,” Sarah choked out. She pulled away from Alison, bouncing back on her heels, momentum carrying her toward the kitchen door. “No, I uh… it’s just, it would be weird, right?”

“You’re probably right,” Alison conceded, though she was reluctant to do so.

“I should, uh, get the girls ready for bed,” Sarah stammered, scratching at the back of her neck. “Sorry.”

“Of course,” Alison said. She offered a weak smile. “I should be heading home anyway.”

“Oh. Alright.”

Maybe she’d been selfish. Maybe she was still confused, still fumbling in the dark trying to discover who she was meant to be.

Only, she hadn’t _felt_ confused. To Alison, it had felt like the most natural thing in the world, the only thing she’d wanted in that moment.

“Good seein’ you,” Sarah mumbled before walking out the door.

 

* * *

 

_Sarah,_

_I owe you an apology. My behavior Sunday night was unacceptable and inconsiderate. As you know, lately I’ve been_

“Stupid,” Alison muttered. She swiped her pen across the card in frustration, scribbling over her handwriting. She glanced up at the clock on the wall. Just after midnight.

She sighed, sinking down into her seat and running her hands down her face. She really should be in bed by now, but with the way her stomach was twisting over itself, she doubted she’d be able to sleep.

She grabbed another card off the shelf and began to write.

All of a sudden, there was a loud knock at the back door.

“Shoot!” she exclaimed as her pen veered off course, forming a dark line across the length of the card.

She checked the clock again, wondering if maybe she’d blacked out and slept through the night. _12:08 AM._

The knock came again, louder.

Alison stood, stepped out of the craft room and to the door. She pulled back the curtain to see a nervous-looking Sarah bouncing on her heels. She unlocked the door and pulled it open.

“No gun this time?” Sarah chuckled.

“Sarah,” Alison said, head shaking in confusion. “What are you--”

“Come for a drive?” Sarah asked, twirling her keys in her hand.

Alison looked herself over, dressed in her plaid pajamas and slippers. When she raised her head again, Sarah was already halfway down the driveway.

“Should I change?” Alison called after her.

“You’re alright,” Sarah called back.

 

* * *

 

The first few minutes of the drive were spent in silence as Alison waited patiently for any kind of explanation from Sarah, watching as she slowly circled the neighborhood, drumming nervously on the steering wheel. Occasionally, Sarah would pause, clear her throat as if gearing up for something, then inevitably return to the drumming. Finally, Alison couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Was there something you wanted to talk about?”

“Wanted to say sorry,” Sarah blurted like she’d been struggling to hold it in. “I know I really took the piss outta you when you dyed your hair and all that.”

“Oh,” Alison said. This wasn’t exactly what she was expecting.

“The truth is I think you’re really brave. It’s hard, lookin’ at yourself in the mirror like you did, decidin’ to change who you are. God knows I never could.”

Honestly, it had never bothered Alison; over time, she’d learned how to laugh at herself, and she knew that Sarah’s jabs were just her own way of showing affection. Which was why it was so surprising to hear her now laying her feelings bare, no hint of the usual Sarah bravado.

“Thank you,” Alison said, and she could feel herself beginning to tear up.

Sarah took a breath, loudly clearing her throat before continuing.

“And back at S’s, when you…” She paused, shifting awkwardly in her seat. “I didn’t handle that well. Sorry.”

And here it was, the conversation Alison had been dreading.

“I’m the one who should apologize, Sarah. It’s not every day your clone makes a pass at you.”

“Well,” Sarah said, and to Alison’s surprise, it looked like she was struggling not to laugh. “It’s not the first time either.”

Alison’s eyes nearly popped out of her head.

“Who?!” she asked, a little too loudly. “Oh my god, Rachel…”

“What?!” Sarah spat, choking on air. “No! Why was Rachel the first… I meant you, y’donut!”

“Donut?” Alison laughed, not sure she’d heard that particular Britishism before. Slowly, it began to dawn on her. “Wait, you mean…”

“Guess you wouldn’t remember,” Sarah said, shaking her head. “You were pretty pissed.”

 _Oh no._ The night Alison had shown up drunk at Felix’s front door. Much of it was a blur, but now that Sarah mentioned it, Alison had always felt a vague but powerful sense of shame and embarrassment every time she’d tried to call it to her mind.

“Oh my god,” Alison groaned. “I didn’t.”

“You did,” Sarah laughed.

“Lord in heaven,” Alison sighed. “I can’t imagine what you must have thought of me.”

“Oh, come off it. It was funny. I’ve done way worse on a bender, believe me.”

Sarah gave Alison’s shoulder a playful shove. She seemed to have relaxed a bit, much to Alison’s relief.

“Can’t say I was expectin’ it,” Sarah continued. “Thought you hated me.”

Alison drew in a deep breath, blinking back tears.

“I was so horrible to you back then,” she said.

“No, hey,” Sarah said. She pulled the car to a stop by the curb, then took Alison’s hand in hers. “You were scared, I know. We were both different people then.”

“You’re right,” Alison said. She squeezed Sarah’s hand tighter, relief sweeping over her. It seemed like she hadn’t ruined things between them after all. “So, what did you do?”

“Mm?”

“When I tried to kiss you. The first time.”

Sarah laughed, releasing her hand from Alison’s and slumping back in her seat.

“Dunno, just… laughed it off, I guess. Didn’t think much of it. Weren’t exactly in your right mind, were you?”

“It wasn’t my finest moment, no,” Alison admitted.

“Couldn’t just laugh it off this time, could I?” Sarah sighed. “It proper scared me.”

Alison swallowed, a familiar sense of guilt creeping into her chest.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I never wanted to upset you.”

“I know,” Sarah said, nodding. “It’s just… I’ve always been shit at relationships.”

“Sarah, it’s okay. You don’t have to--”

“No,” Sarah snapped. “Listen, alright?”

Alison closed her mouth and nodded, urging her to continue.

“You and me, what we have now, I… I’m not used to it. Somethin’ stable. It’s good.”

“It’s really good,” Alison agreed.

“I know I’d just screw it up,” Sarah said.

Alison’s heart ached. She wanted to say any number of things. About how Sarah wasn’t the same person she once was, about how they could take things at whatever pace she was comfortable with, about how Alison wanted nothing more than to kiss her right now, to show her how much she meant to her, how she couldn’t imagine life without her in it.

“I understand,” she said instead.

Sarah nodded, a flicker of what looked a little like disappointment appearing on her face before settling in a smile.

Alison smiled back, reassuring. Sarah was probably right. Even though the thought of it was something thrilling and magical and wonderful, maybe it just wasn’t… practical.

The two stared silently at each other for a moment as crickets chirped outside. Even in the tight confines of Siobhan’s truck, the distance between them suddenly felt unbearable.

“Fuck it,” Sarah said.

Her lips were on Alison’s in an instant, desperate and hungry, as she scrambled to pull her jacket off. She pushed herself onto Alison’s lap, fingers quickly beginning to work the buttons of her pajama top. Her lips traced the bottom of Alison jaw, nipping lightly at her skin.

“This alright?” Sarah breathed into her ear.

“God yes,” Alison moaned.

Finally unfastening the last button, Sarah tore Alison’s top off and threw it into the back seat. She moved in close again, then froze. Slowly, she pulled back, staring down at Alison’s body in confusion.

“Sarah?” Alison asked, fighting the sudden urge to cover up. “What’s wrong?”

Sarah’s eyes rose to meet hers.

“What the hell’s ‘liver deep’?”

 

* * *

 

After that night, they decided to take things slow. It was a difficult proposition for Alison, who suddenly felt like a lovestruck teenager again, her heart rate doubling every time Sarah flashed her a quick wink or a smile. And she was meant to be the responsible one.

Taking things slow also meant keeping their relationship a secret, at least for the time being, and with all the children constantly milling about, it wasn’t exactly easy.

Still, it was good. They both felt it. However unexpected it was, there was something special here, something neither of them had realized they were missing until it happened.

Eventually, Alison and Donnie made the difficult but inevitable decision to sell their old house. Alison found herself a cozy apartment in the city, not coincidentally only a few blocks away from Sarah’s place. The move had been a drawn out process, as she and Sarah had turned down any additional help, sensing a rare opportunity to be alone for a while.

Finally though, Alison had settled into her new home.

“And what else?” Alison asked herself, nervously tracing her eyes across the small room. “Oh, all your trophies are there. Obviously.”

“I like it,” Gemma finally said, grinning up at her. “It’s cool.”

Alison breathed a sigh of relief as she watched her daughter step into her new room and poke her head into the closet.

“Boo!”

Alison nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of the high-pitched squeal behind her. She turned to find Kira standing there with a wide grin on her face.

“Well, hello,” Alison chirped. “I wish they’d told me this place was haunted before I moved in.”

Kira giggled before squeezing past her into Gemma’s room.

“Sorry,” Sarah called from the front door. “Guess the door was open.”

“Hello, Sarah,” Alison said, careful to keep from revealing too much with her smile.

“Hey,” Sarah replied with a knowing smirk. Alison felt her heartbeat start to pick up, right on cue. She was distracted enough that she didn’t even notice Charlotte until her arms were wrapped tightly around her waist.

“Hello, Auntie Alison,” she said.

“Hi there, sweetheart,” Alison cooed, resting her cheek against her head. “How are you?”

“Good, thank you.”

Sarah’s face softened, smiling warmly at the sight of the two of them. Alison watched her reach into her pocket and pull out her phone, buzzing in her hand. Her face quickly shifted from confusion to horror as she stared at the screen.

“Uh, hey,” Alison stammered, looking down at Charlotte. “Want to take a look around? I know Oscar and Gemma would love to see you.”

“Okay,” Charlotte said. She offered a parting smile before heading off down the hall.

“What’s going on?” Alison asked Sarah, who was still staring transfixed at her phone, hand clamped over her mouth.

Sarah turned the phone to face Alison as she approached, saying nothing. On the screen was a text conversation with Helena.

> Give sestra Alison hugs from me

> Or kisses from you

The next line was just a long series of ‘kiss’ emojis.

“You think she’s onto us?” Alison deadpanned, smirking.

“God,” Sarah chuckled, seeming to relax a little. “Can’t keep anythin’ from her. It doesn’t scare you?”

“Honestly? No. Nothing much scares me anymore. Especially when I’m with you.”

Sarah predictably rolled her eyes at the sentiment, though the smile on her face seemed to betray her true feelings.

“Well then,” Sarah said. She reached out and stroked Alison’s cheek, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Doesn’t scare me either.”

Alison leaned into Sarah’s touch, relishing the quiet moment alone, but of course, it was short-lived. The two separated at the sound of footsteps approaching from the hallway. Alison turned in time to see Oscar’s head pop out from around the corner.

“Hey, Sarah.”

“Hey there,” she replied. “Ready for that rematch?”

“Ready to kick your ass again,” he shot back with a smug grin, prompting a laugh from Sarah.

 _“Oscar,”_ Alison huffed.

“Butt,” he said sheepishly. “Sorry, Mom.”

With that, he slunk back to his room.

“Don’t encourage him,” Alison said, shooting Sarah her best attempt at a stern look.

“Alright, alright,” Sarah groaned, throwing her hands up. She started heading off to Oscar’s room, knocking shoulders with Alison as she passed. She paused at the corner before looking back.

“Love you,” she mouthed.

“Love you,” Alison mouthed back.

Alison watched Sarah disappear around the corner, then let her eyes wander to the far wall and the warm sunbeams streaming through the windows.

Her new home. She couldn’t help but smile at the thought of it. This, all of this, had been a long time coming, and it was only now that she was able to realize it. Who she was, where she belonged, the things and the people most important to her, it felt like everything had finally begun to come into focus. Where exactly this was all leading, she wasn’t quite sure, a concept that would have absolutely terrified the old Alison. But whatever may come, the new Alison was ready to face it. She and her family, together.

For now, she would need to get to work in the kitchen. Soon, the sun would set, and there were several mouths that would need to be fed.


End file.
